First Day of School: Expectations vs. Reality

If you're a parent, you've probably noticed a flood of beautifully staged first day of school photos and tips from parenting influencers on social media recently. It can feel overwhelming, especially when just getting out the door on a regular day is a challenge. Add in the fact that it's the first day back: the kids are out of their routine, there may be a new school, everyone is used to waking up later, and a host of other hurdles. It can make getting out the door feel nearly impossible. Yet, we all seem to continue to fall into the pressure of making that first day of school perfect.

Common Unrealistic First Days of School Expectations:

1. Perfectly Posed Photos: Expecting every child to pose perfectly and look their best for photos, despite their natural reluctance or nervousness.

2. Smooth Transitions: Believing that the first day will be seamless, without any tears, resistance, or adjustment issues, especially for those starting a new school or grade

3. Immediate Enthusiasm: Assuming that kids will instantly embrace their new routine and be excited about returning to school.

4. Flawless Morning Routine: Expecting the morning routine to go off without a hitch, including getting everyone dressed, fed, and out the door on time.

5. Special Breakfast Success: Hoping that a special first-day breakfast will be eagerly accepted and enjoyed, even if kids are not in the mood for it.

6. High Achievement: Assuming that the day will set a perfect tone for the year, with kids immediately excelling socially and academically.

7. No Behavioral Issues: Expecting no behavioral problems or conflicts, even though children might be adjusting to new environments and social dynamics.

8. Instant School Spirit: Believing that kids will immediately feel a strong connection to their school, teachers, and classmates without any period of adjustment.

Reality of the First Days of School: 

1. Adjustments and Transition Periods: Understand that the first day may involve some hiccups as kids adjust to a new routine, new teachers, and possibly new classmates.

2. Mixed Emotions: Expect a range of emotions from excitement to anxiety. It's normal for children to feel nervous or hesitant, and they may need time to settle in. It's also normal for you too mama! 

3. Minor Delays: Be prepared for delays in getting out the door, whether it's due to wardrobe changes, forgotten items, or last-minute issues. Getting out the door is hands down the most stressful time of day for my family and I know that we are not alone in this experience.

4. Learning Curve: Recognize that both kids and parents might need time to get used to the new schedule, including the new wake-up times and daily routines.

5. Tears and Resistance: It's common for young children, especially, to show resistance or have tears on their first day. This is often temporary and should improve with time.

6. Imperfect Photos: Accept that the first-day photos might not be perfect. Natural expressions and candid moments can be just as meaningful. It is also perfectly alright to skip the photo; your kids will remember the moment with or without the awkward staged picture to look back on.

7. Simple Breakfasts:  Kids may not be interested in a special meal and might prefer something simple and familiar. There's already enough adjustment on that first day; why stress yourself out by making elaborate pancakes with strawberries for a smile and cool whip eyes that no one eats anyways (not that I'm speaking from experience!)

8. Social Adjustment: Realize that making new friends and fitting in can take time. It's normal for kids to take a while to find their social footing.

9. Organizational Hiccups: Expect that there might be some mix-ups or forgotten items initially. You might get in the wrong car pool line. Over time, organization will improve as routines settle.

10. Gradual Improvement: Understand that the first day is just the beginning. It will take time for children to adjust and feel comfortable in their new environment. It will also take time for YOU to adjust and feel comfortable.

By setting these more realistic expectations, you can reduce stress and support a smoother transition for both your child and yourself.